Change..

I knew what was gonna happen,
and i still ignored it.
i reminded myself,
and i still went through with it.
change will always lead to more change..
for better or for worse..
it will always happen..
stupidity got the best of me..
and now things are falling apart..
not bit by bit,
nor by chunks.
everything just crumbled in an instant..
what i tried so hard to keep together..
just fell apart in a second..
what i placed my blood, sweat and tears into creating,
just vanished in a moment..

and i tried so desperately to stick them all back into place..
nothing seems to fit back where they belong..

so much for giving change a chance..
and i cant help but feel responsible...
for causing their pain..
for their distress..
for their loss in trust..

fuck this..im done with change!
as soon as i get things back to normal,
im not going to try and be a smartass and change things

that is if they ever go back to normal..
i doubt so....
and so ive got nothing else to lose..
cause ive lost what meant everything to me..

Cheap and cheerful!

Cant seem to sleep..
and i ended up sittin in front of my comp,
in the dark..wtf
The huge ass mosquito in my room is starting to be a huge annoyance as well..
oh and i think its following me..and i cant seem to kill it wtf!!

Anyways, assignments are on their way..
hopefully the provide enough distraction so i dont go thinking too much bout stuff.
either that or i start slitting my wrists with a straw and end up with broken straws and burns on my wrists -.-
or i could join a gym and end up a gym junkie doin steroids and start bein a masochist lol

Hmmm...
sometimes i annoy myself..
yes..it does happen..
and yes i know i hou mou liu at times =.=

oh and apparently watching top gear helps me sleep...
nothing like watching a middle aged man chase sheeps on a car track..
or hearing the lousy reviews of cheap cars..

mmkay nights!

itchy backside wtf -.-

My saturdays now are just dead...
stuck at home till the evening where i'd take any car available in the hse and meet up with my high school friends..
but before that..my usual saturday ritual was to wake up before 12,
have lunch..and be off for english tuition from 1.30 till 4,
but why english tuition you may wonder..
i dont really know as well la..ive been going to some old lady's hse somewhere around old klang road weekly to have my english worked on since i was 5..
geez..come to think of it, i had a sad childhood =.=
and i dont think it was just me who had to endure this ritual..
my sister had to go through it as well..
well being there for so many years, its impossible not to pick some stuff up along the way.
ive learnt loads. Some unwillingly forced into my head and some outta wanting to change.

Anyways, after havin that tuition..id be rushed off for another tuition in pj..at another old lady's house wtf!
this time it was 5 till 7, sometimes longer when exams were coming..
every single lesson we had to do rumusan or a karangan..
which was fucked up..
cause me having an itchy backside would always compete with a friend from VI trying to get the highest marks wtf..yes i was kinda childish =)
and i hated it when that old lady would have 3+ hour classes when PMR or SPM was nearing.
it was always on a sunday morning..
who the hell sacrifices sleeping in on a sunday to study...
it aint me for sure ! but i went anyways wtf!!!!

Now...my saturdays are made up of me waking up in time for lunch,
having lunch,
bumming online for awhile,
going back to sleep (piggo ma wtf)
wake up,
take what car is at home and...
go out till past midnight -.-

btw yes yes i know my blog is wordy..
but what to do..i memang malas nak load pictures..
kay thx bai !?